Prematurely Yours, Jessica: A Mother's Diary

My life dream was to eventually become a wife and mother someday. I loved baby dolls as a little girl and took great care of my pretend babies. I grew up, and at 20 years old married my sweetheart of a husband. After 3 years of marriage my husband and I decided to try for a baby. It was difficult, as I was told I would never conceive, but within months, I became pregnant! I was overjoyed!!! My hopes were quickly deflated at 8 weeks along when I miscarried for the first time. Life somehow, went on, and so did my heart shattering losses. After 9 miscarriages, my faith was tested. I felt my body was failing me and our children. Five years of sadness, disappointment and suffering went on. I felt alone in my journey. I prayed and tried to give it all to God but He seemed to not be answering me. Finally, after many tests, I had an amazing Dr. that ran genetic testing on my husband and I. The results; we were found to be too genetically closely matched for my body to recognize the difference between my body and my baby's body. Therefore, my body fought off my pregnancies, as if they were donor organs. My body failed to make trophoblast cells that protect an unborn baby as it grows to term. I then became pregnant again and received the necessary treatment that allowed me to carry Jessica. However, due to a weak cervix, caused by so many miscarriages, I went into premature labor and had a C-section to deliver her at 26 1/2 weeks gestation. I had prayed I would not have a stillborn or premature baby. How could this be happening? This was a true test of my faith. My conclusion was "if it's this bad with God, how bad would it be without Him?" So I clung to that. This book tells the rest of my and Jessica's story of struggle, hope, love and survival. Read more